Books with author Neil McFarlane

The third installment in the acclaimed (by me!) Me Tawk Funny series.Hector and Buster - and Geranium - are back in their biggest and most exciting adventure yet!With the help of Geranium, the next-door neighbor's cat, Hector must once again use his chemistry skills to defeat the evil super-villain Professor Evil. But can Hector develop the new formula in time?Find out in Me Tawk Funny Too: (Me Tawk Funny: Book Three).Scroll up and grab a copy today

When You Were a Worm and Other Stories and Creepy CrawliesWhen You Were a Worm is a collection of educational and entertaining stories designed for parents to read to/with children aged five to infinity!In each story, your child will have a great time being the main character who changes into and lives the life of a creepy critter for a day.Although the main aim of this book is to entertain young readers with fantastical adventures in which they are the star, kids will also …… learn amazing facts about the workings and wonders of the natural world… learn about the behaviour, habits and lives of these amazing creatures… discover a new perspective on life by walking in another animal’s ‘shoes’ for a day… have a funny adventure that will captivate and educate… giggle!CONTENTS1. When You Were a Worm2. When You Were a Tadpole3. When You Were a Flea4. When You Were a Rat5. When You Were a Spider6. When You Were a Caterpillar7. When You Were a Snake8. When You Were a FlyEXCERPTProfessor Heckler came into the ring and announced, "Ladies! And! Gentlemen! Welcome to Professor Heckler's World Famous Flea Circus!" and everyone clapped.Then the fleas came out and started performing.One flea pulled the cart. Another flea moved the little ball. Another flea walked along the piece of string. The people could see the cart move two millimetres, and they saw the ball move about half a centimetre, and they couldn't even see the tiny flea walking along the piece of string."What a terrible show!" shouted someone in the audience."Bor-ing!" shouted someone else."What. A load. Of rubbish!" chanted the audience. "Give. Us back. Our money!"Professor Heckler didn't know what to do. He looked very sad.You felt sorry for him, so you jumped out of his pocket and into the ring. You went up to that ball and you didn't just kick it – you smashed it into the back of a football net. Then you grabbed that cart and pulled it around the ring so fast you set a new flea world speed record. Then you jumped on that rope and walked along it while juggling seventeen skittles and balancing a lion on your nose!The audience went wild, screaming and shouting and applauding like crazy. Professor Heckler looked really happy.SCROLL UP AND GRAB A COPY TODAY!

Bite-sized, listen-aloud bedtime tales for parent and child. A follow-up to the highly praised A Month of Bedtime Stories, this collection contains a further seven tales in the series. Each story takes about 10 minutes and places your child at the center of each adventure with heavy doses of wacky humor which can be enjoyed by parent and child alike. Contents: "Pathetic Sick Sniffy Pants" "The Mango Mouse" "How to Sledgehammer a Lollipop" "Turvy Topsy Land" "The...Way of the Pizza!" "The Case of the Missing Woods" "The Revolting Brains"

A 250-page illustrated book of short stories with morals for children of all agesWith a host of animal and human characters, these humorous and imaginative tales feature space-faring puppies, Kung Fu Grasshoppers, time-traveling slugs, undersea bee explorers, Viking goats, boogie woogie monkeys, disco-dancing Romans, and tiddlywinking cockroaches, to name a few.* Will Captain Slinky the parrotless pirate ever find a parrot so that all the other pirates stop poking fun at him?* Will Cutlet the piglet detective solve the case of the missing parsnip?* What happens when the Queen of England decides to rob the Bank of England?* Can Derek the Disco Roman ever learn to dance disco like disco should be danced?* Can Spanky Windolene the circus octopus find the secret lair of the thing they call the Internet in order to save his struggling circus?* Can those boastful worms stop boasting for just one second?* And so on and so forth, etcetera etcetera etcetera.Contents:1. Kung Fu Grasshoppers2. Disco Roman Derek3. Captain Slinky's Parrot4. The Queen's Submarine5. Doctor Slug's Time Machine6. Horses in Space7. Shark Versus Crocodile8. The Case of the Missing Parsnip9. The Three Pigs10. Spanky Windolene Saves the Day11. The Queen Robs Banks12. The … Way of the Pizza!13. Hector's History Lesson14. Spuddlybonk!15. Naughty Vikings16. Badger Cassidy and the Sundance Pig17. Jenkins the Bad Robot18. Eric Likes to Boogie19. Captain Spasmic20. The Cutest Kitten in the Universe21. Cows in Black22. The Boastful Worms23. Joker Jo24. The Land of Nonsense25. When You Were a Snake26. The Funny Little Thing27. Cuckoo Lambs28. Jazz CrabsHere endeth the product description.

2014 London Book Festival: Honorable Mention "Written with a great love of vocabulary, with a musical style [...] this book is not a month of bedtime stories, but a lifetime of them." (Carole P. Roman, Kirkus Best of 2012 award-winning author) Children will love being the main character and hearing about the adventures they had earlier in the day. ("You don't remember? It must have been that bonk on the head that made you forget!") Parents, too, will enjoy the humor and imagination of this bumper book of funny, immersive, read-aloud bedtime tales for kids. With a whopping 31 stories, this collection is designed to last a whole month...but can you leave it to just one story per night? San Francisco Book Review (sanfraniscobookreview.com), five stars Readers Favorite (readersfavorite.com), five stars Writerbee's Book Reviews (writerbeesbookreviews.com), five stars Online Book Club (onlinebookclub.org), five stars Book Reviews and Giveaways (bookreviewsandgivewasy.org), five stars Chodi Kid Books (chodibooks.com), five stars Ebook Review Gal (ebookreviewgal.com), five stars Treat your child to A Month of Bedtime Stories!

When You Were a Dinosaur (and Other Tales and Mighty Beasts!)When You Were a Dinosaur is a collection of educational and entertaining stories designed for parents to read to/with children aged five to infinity!In each story, your child will have a great time being the main character who changes into and lives the life of a mighty creature for a day.Although the main aim of this book is to entertain young readers with fantastical adventures in which they are the star, kids will also …… learn amazing facts about the workings and wonders of the natural world… learn about the behaviour, habits and lives of these amazing creatures… discover a new perspective on life by walking in another animal’s ‘shoes’ for a day… have a funny adventure that will captivate and educate… giggle!CONTENTS1. When You Were a Dinosaur2. When You Were a Lion3. When You Were a Gorilla4. When You Were a Whale5. When You Were an Elephant6. When You Were a Polar Bear7. When You Were a Crocodile8. When You Were an EagleEXCERPT (from When You Were a Lion)Zebedee waved at you and you stepped forward from the shadows. When the other cats saw you, they gasped in amazement.“Is that a cat?” one of them said.“It's more like a monster,” said another.“Are you truly a cat, stranger?” said the ginger cat.“Well, actually, I'm a human child, and my name is … my name is …” But you still couldn't remember your name.“Show them your teeth,” said Zebedee.So you opened your mouth wide and bared your fangs. The other cats gasped in astonishment.“Show them your claws,” said Zebedee.So you raised one paw and showed them your claws. Some of the cats stepped back nervously.“That's a cat all right,” you heard a voice say.“But what a cat!” said another.“If this great cat is not worthy to be our leader, I don't know who is,” said the ginger cat. “All those in favour, say Miaow.”“Miaow!” “Miaow!” “Miaow!” said all the cats together.SCROLL UP AND GRAB A COPY TODAY!

How did Hector's dog start talking? Hector Dumble thinks he's dumb. When his dog, Buster, starts talking to him, Hector begins to think he's crazy too. Things become even stranger when Hector learns that his teacher Mr Weazel has a secret identity. How will Hector handle having a dog that can talk and a teacher who wants to take over the world? Find out in this shaggy dog story for kids ages 6 to 11.

Treat your child to another week of Bedtime Stories!A follow-up to the highly praised A Month of Bedtime Stories, this collection of funny bedtime tales contains a further seven short stories in the series. Each story takes about ten minutes to read and places your child at the center of each adventure with heavy doses of wacky humor which can be enjoyed by parent and child alike. Note: These bedtime tales are written in the second person. If you don't know what that means, "look inside" - you'll get the picture. They are intended to be read aloud by parents to children, rather than read by children themselves. Some of the parts will go over your child's head - don't worry, those are the parts aimed at you so that hopefully you'll enjoy reading them as much as kids will enjoy hearing them.Please also note:One of the stories (The Duckling of Doom) contains the word 'sexy'. Here in the UK, 'sexy' is not generally regarded as a rude word and can be used to simply mean nice (eg. a sexy camera, a sexy sports car, a sexy mathematical formula). If in your culture you feel that hearing this word might traumatize your children, please feel free to substitute another word in its place.BOOK CONTENTS (69 pages):1. Superbunny2. Halkidiki Olives Stuffed With Feta Cheese3. Funky Punky Monkey4. The Buttercup Thief5. The Electricity Tree6. The Duckling of Doom7. A Nutty DayGrab a copy today!

Bedtime stories where your child is the star!WARNING: This product may contain cheesy sneezy Viking goats!Another week's worth of 2nd-person, boogietastic, read-aloud bedtime stories which adults will enjoy reading as much as [insert the name of your child] will enjoy hearing.CONTENTS1. The Bramble Patch of Katmandoodoo2. Boogie Woogie Monkey3. Cheesy Sneezy Viking Goats4. The Marching Crabs of Jazz5. The Path of Politeness6. The Flea Who Saved the World7. When You Were Bigger Than the UniverseSTORY SUMMARIES:1. The Bramble Patch of KatmandoodooOnions make sandwiches tangy, so [insert the name of your child] goes off to the woods in search of the only onion in the world. But in the great Bramble Patch of Katmandoodoo lurk the dreaded Flinty-eyed Ninjas of Razzamatazz ... (which is bad news).2. Boogie Woogie MonkeyThere's no cake in the kitchen, so [insert the name of your child] goes off to the woods in search of some and meets a special boogie buddy along the way.3. Cheesy Sneezy Viking GoatsIn the woods on this bright sunny day, it's a special holiday, but [insert the name of your child] won't play, so Judge Popsy Weazel will make [insert the name of your child] pay!4. The Marching Crabs of JazzThe Marching Crabs of Jazz are off to war. Can [insert the name of your child] help them defeat the Lobsters of Punk? Find out in this story which is a story about the Marching Crabs of Jazz.5. The Path of PolitenessPears are undoubtedly the juiciest of all the fruits, but you've run out. [Insert the name of your child] goes off to the woods to search for some using only the power of politeness and a taxi full of worms to complete the quest.6. The Flea Who Saved the WorldWho says size is important? When the Button Badger turns [insert the name of your child] into a flea, lessons are learned and buttons are found.7. When You Were Bigger Than the Universe[Insert the name of your child] eats a magic strawberry and grows bigger than the universe. That is some powerful voodoo.

Treat your child to another week of Bedtime Stories!Bite-sized, read-aloud, funny bedtime tales for parent and child.A follow-up to the highly praised A Month of Bedtime Stories, this collection contains a further seven tales in the series. Each story takes about ten minutes to read and places your child at the center of each adventure with heavy doses of wacky humor which can be enjoyed by parent and child alike. Contents:1. Pathetic Sick Sniffy Pants3. The Mango Mouse2. How to Sledgehammer a Lollipop4. Turvy Topsy Land5. The ... Way of the Pizza!6. The Case of the Missing Woods7. The Revolting BrainsGrab a copy today!

A modern-day "fractured fairy tale" of flatulence, friendship, and fun! People think Jupiter is the biggest gas giant in the solar system, but Tom knows better.... The story: Tom is just an ordinary boy in an ordinary town until one day, he finds a dirty, old teapot. He gives it a rub, and out pops...the genie of the lamp! Hurrah! Huzzah! And hip hip hooray! Only it's not a genie; it's a giant. Tom was hoping for three wishes, but instead, he's lumbered with a hulking great lummox who turns out to be completely useless. Isn't there anything for which this giant is good?