BEFORE YOU SAY YES
Lynda E. Nakalawa
language
(, April 2, 2017)
Almost everywhere I go, girls ask me this question: “When is the right time to get a boy friend? “ This is usually followed by, “Is it okay to kiss or make out with my boyfriend, as long as we do not go too far?”Instead of giving you an answer that may not fit your situation, here are some questions that will help you think about what you really want your story to be. Whether you are contemplating a relationship, want one but no one is asking, just got out of one or considering taking one to another level, you can find something in this book to help you think. This book is not about pre-marital counseling. It was originally for girls that are not yet ready to consider marriage, and want to be able to withstand the pressure to get into a relationship for a while longer. As I wrote however, the book took on a life of its own. It literally insisted that I put something in here for all sorts of girls out there. The underlying message is the same:“You can make a choice”. You cannot and do not have to be a victim of circumstances; you are not a slave to your feelings (or his feelings for that matter).Parent or friend: This is a wonderful gift for your daughter, or that special child you want to inspire. There is so much you cannot say yourself, but you wish she knew it. This book will help you make sure that your beautiful, precious, girl does not find herself with a broken heart; depressed, suicidal with a baby she didn’t plan on or in a dead end marriage.Girl: This book is for every girl that would like to wait, and just needs a little help. These questions will help you wait before you commit yourself to a relationship. Get to know people but don’t allow any boy/man to boast that they have their mark on you, until you are good and ready! I know sometimes it’s not easy to wait, especially when everyone else seems to think it is okay to have as many relationships (even sexual relationships) as they like before they get married. A lot of girls agree that it is far better not to invest so much of yourself, especially your body, into so many relationships. If you are the kind of girl who would like to wait for that one special person, then this book is for you. Never the less it is one thing to think you would like to wait, and another thing to actually wait. If someone has asked you into a relationship: These 25 questions can help you evaluate this relationship that seems to have presented itself to you. In the heat of excitement, these questions may not have space in your head. That is why we have them written here neatly.If you are not yet dating, and not being asked: you may be worried because no boys are coming your way; ask yourself these questions all the same. They will help you judge whether you want to make these kinds of decisions at your age. At the very least they can help you feel glad that you do not have to deal with this sort of pressure. You are not missing out on anything. Your time will come!If you are crushing on a boy: a crush can be a painful experience, especially when the attraction is not shared by the other party. Use these questions to assess the object of your affection. You can replace the statement “Will he…?” with “Would he…?” You may be pleasantly surprised to find that these questions cure you of the crush!If you feel you have already messed up: still, these are good questions to ask yourself. Now you can conduct a review of how things could have gone so wrong. You only fail if you choose to stay down. Specifically for the girl who has been sleeping around: pick yourself up! What can you do differently? On top of these questions, you have the benefit of experience on the type of pitfalls to avoid. If you are in a relationship: maybe you are in the early days of a relationship, or are considering letting the relationship move to the next level, this book is for you as well. Maybe he wants to make the relationship sexual. These are still good questions to ask.