Books published by publisher Richard A Martin

They're the cookies that bite back! OK, Gretel, Dad says we need to move out and get a job. Don't look at me that way. Hey, we can do it together. It'll be fun. Yes. I know we have no skills. Well, you know how all those long-haul cookie delivery drivers left on their routes and never came back? It's perfect. Guaranteed employment. People need their sweets. What? Danger? Nah, we'll be fine. Hansel and Gretel are two long-haul truckers, a brother and sister team, whose work order is simple: Deliver a truckload of cookies cross-country to an old witch in the forest. They stop to pick up their load and notice something isn't right. Pastries shouldn't be bleeding and screaming and trying to escape their boxes. Once upon a time, in an orphanage, lived a rather ugly child. Picked on mercilessly by her peers until one by one the orphans went missing. Now an old witch with a cookie addiction, she sits alone in her mansion made of sweets, waiting for her delivery of baked goods with the one special ingredient in them. Will Hansel and Gretel make their delivery on time? Will they make it out alive? Will Hansel finally admit that Gretel is the better driver? Indulge your appetite and feast your eyes on this new twist on an age-old tale. Note: This series does not need to be heard in alphabetical order. Mix and match! Trade with friends!

Aliens. Armageddon. President Mel Gibson? America is in trouble, dudes. The country is in ruins after the president walls it up, sealing it like a giant prison. The rich get richer and the poor starve to death in the streets. Enter the Invaders, a secret society led by a charismatic and flawlessly handsome dude named Dave. Their mission: Destroy the forces in D.C. and take back the U.S.A.! Starlet Richter is your typical transgender American woman. After years of watching the place fall apart, she's gonna do something about it. Eric Tisdsale is Starlet's long-lost love. He's making a pretty mundane living as a pool shark, until one phone call changes everything. Will they save each other? Themselves? The world? How about when they discover the president is not actually human, and there may be more of his kind hiding among us? "The worst thing you'll hear all year!" raves the general population. "Fake News!" cries D.T. DAVE! is a science fiction comedy that features fast-paced action, pie-throwing clowns, nudists, and lots and lots of aliens. Equal parts Hitchhiker's Guide and Coen Brothers, buy this audiobook now and laugh your way through the apocalypse!

Three tales so awful, they'll make you want to wash your mind out with soap. "The best thing I've read since the Farmer's Almanac!" (Unreliable source) Snow White and the mini golf course? Frankenstein meets Soylent Green? An avid reader trapped in an Edgar Allan Poe nightmare? These stories aren't normal. Listen today and hear why listeners are calling it, "Ludicrous. Hilarious. Almost life-changing. Almost." Like a stew, where you don't know what's in it, you don't know why you're eating it, but you can't stop. You'll even ask for thirds. Note: This series does not need to be heard in alphabetical order. Mix and match! Trade with friends!

Like Poe on nitrous oxide. Have you ever wanted to escape? Ever wished you were a character in a story? Be careful what you wish for. I wanted that once, too. And now here I am. And it sucks. How did I get here? What did I do to deserve this? Trapped in the nightmarish world of Edgar Allan Poe - sort of. Why are these tales so much worse than the originals? Why is everyone I meet so annoying? And what's the deal with their wonky eyeballs? E is for Eyeball is what happens when you put works of public domain into the hands of an incompetent lunatic. Horrific. Hilarious. Ridiculous. You'll laugh till your eyes pop out. "A real mustn't listen." -Every Critic Ever Get your copy today! These audiobooks do not need to be heard in alphabetical order. Mix and match! Trade with friends!

Three tales so twisted, they'll make you question your own sanity. "The best thing I've listened to since sliced bread!" -Name withheld Goldilocks and the Mob. Hansel and Gretel and the Cannibal Cookies. Adam and Eve and their madcap romp through the Garden of Eden. These aren't your childhood fairy tales. Pick up your copy today and see why listeners are calling it outlandish. Hysterical. On the brink of lunacy. A big ol' word-buffet of the familiar and the surreal. You'll be asking for seconds. Note: This series does not need to be heard in alphabetical order. Mix and match! Trade with friends!

"Imagine a man who pants like a dog and looks like a bear with its face blown off..."This is the story of Lionel Grin; the bald, fat king of the butterfly collectors. When Lionel wakes up one freezing winter's night to find the world's most beautiful butterfly in his bedroom, his world is turned upside down... and not for the better.So begins a shattered story of love, loss, horror, nightmares, madness, Christmas spirits and violent revenge... and all because poor Lionel had toothache.

"'Listen! Can't you hear him cryingnow? Can't you see the ghost?'"CONTENTSCHAP. I. A NEW PUPIL.II. THERE'S A CONSCIENCE.III. TWO LONE, LORN YOUNG WOMEN.IV. IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT.V. A REPRESENTATIVE OF LAW AND ORDER.VI. THE LONG ARM OF COINCIDENCE.VII. BRUCE GRAHAM'S FIRST CLIENT.VIII. MADGE ... AND THE PANEL.IX. THE THING WHICH WAS HIDDEN.X. MADGE FINDS HERSELF IN AN AWKWARD SITUATION.XI. UNDER THE SPELL.XII. TOM OSSINGTON's LAWYER.XIII. AN INTERRUPTED TREASURE HUNT.XIV. THE CAUSE OF THE INTERRUPTION.XV. THE COMPANION OF HIS SOLITUDE.XVI. TWO VISITORS.XVII. THE KEY TO THE PUZZLE.XVIII. MADGE APPLIES MORE STRENGTH.XIX. THE WOMAN AND THE MAN.XX. THE FORTUNE.CHAPTER IA NEW PUPILThe first of the series of curious happenings, which led to such a surprising and, indeed, extraordinary denouement, occurred on the twelfth of October. It was a Monday; about four-thirty in the afternoon. Madge Brodie was alone in the house. The weather was dull, a suspicion of mist was in the air, already the day was drawing in.Madge was writing away with might and main, hard at work on one of those MSS. with which she took such peculiar pains; and with which the editors for whom they were destined took so little. If they would only take a little more--enough to read them through, say--Madge felt sure they would not be so continually returned. Her pen went tearing away at a gallop--it had reached the last few lines--they were finished. She turned to glance at the clock which was on the mantelshelf behind her."Gracious!--I had no idea it was so late. Ella will be home in an hour, and there is nothing in the place for her to eat!"She caught up the sheets of paper, fastened them together at the corner, crammed them into an envelope, scribbled a note, crammed it in after them, addressed the envelope, closed it, jumped up to get her hat, just as there came a rat-tat-tat at the hall-door knocker."Now, who's that? I wonder if it is that Miss Brice come for her lesson after all--three hours late. It will be like her if it is--but she sha'n't have it now. We'll see if she shall."She caught up her hat from the couch, perched it on her head, pushed a pin through the crown."If she sees that I am just going out, I should think that even she will hardly venture to ask me to give her a lesson three hours after the time which she herself appointed."As she spoke she was crossing the little passage towards the front door.