Arms and the Man: Original
George Bernard Shaw
(Independently published, May 21, 2020)
Arms and the Man was George Bernard Shaw’s first commercially successful play. It is a comedy about idealized love versus true love. A young Serbian woman idealizes her war-hero fiance and thinks the Swiss soldier who begs her to hide him a terrible coward. After the war she reverses her opinions, though the tangle of relationships must be resolved before her ex-soldier can conclude the last of everyone’s problems with Swiss exactitude. The play premiered to an enthusiastic reception. Only one man booed Shaw at the end, to which Shaw replied: ‘My dear fellow, I quite agree with you, but what are we two against so many?’Night. A lady's bedchamber in Bulgaria, in a smalltown near the Dragoman Pass. It is late inNovember in the year 1885, and through an openwindow with a little balcony on the left can beseen a peak of the Balkans, wonderfully white andbeautiful in the starlit snow. The interior of theroom is not like anything to be seen in the eastof Europe. It is half rich Bulgarian, half cheapViennese. The counterpane and hangings of the bed,the window curtains, the little carpet, and allthe ornamental textile fabrics in the room areoriental and gorgeous: the paper on the walls isoccidental and paltry. Above the head of the bed,which stands against a little wall cutting off theright hand corner of the room diagonally, is apainted wooden shrine, blue and gold, with anivory image of Christ, and a light hanging beforeit in a pierced metal ball suspended by threechains. On the left, further forward, is anottoman. The washstand, against the wall on theleft, consists of an enamelled iron basin with apail beneath it in a painted metal frame, and asingle towel on the rail at the side. A chair nearit is Austrian bent wood, with cane seat. Thedressing table, between the bed and the window, isan ordinary pine table, covered with a cloth ofmany colors, but with an expensive toilet mirroron it. The door is on the right; and there is achest of drawers between the door and the bed.This chest of drawers is also covered by avariegated native cloth, and on it there is a pileof paper backed novels, a box of chocolate creams,and a miniature easel, on which is a largephotograph of an extremely handsome officer, whoselofty bearing and magnetic glance can be felt evenfrom the portrait. The room is lighted by a candleon the chest of drawers, and another on thedressing table, with a box of matches beside it.The window is hinged doorwise and stands wideopen, folding back to the left. Outside a pair ofwooden shutters, opening outwards, also standopen. On the balcony, a young lady, intenselyconscious of the romantic beauty of the night, andof the fact that her own youth and beauty is a partof it, is on the balcony, gazing at the snowyBalkans. She is covered by a long mantle of furs,worth, on a moderate estimate, about three timesthe furniture of her room.Her reverie is interrupted by her mother,Catherine Petkoff, a woman over forty, imperiouslyenergetic, with magnificent black hair and eyes,who might be a very splendid specimen of the wifeof a mountain farmer, but is determined to be aViennese lady, and to that end wears a fashionabletea gown on all occasions.CATHERINE (entering hastily, full of good news). Raina–(she pronounces it Rah-eena, with the stress on the ee) Raina–(she goes to the bed, expecting to find Raina there.) Why, where–(Raina looks into the room.) Heavens! child, are you out in the night air instead of in your bed? You’ll catch your death. Louka told me you were asleep.