The Potentate of Pinklepump
W.T. Wilson
language
(, May 5, 2017)
If you’re a kid who’s ever dreamed of adventures on alien planets, especially a girl, you just have to read my Report to Multiversapol. If I told you I’ve fought alien pirate cannibals, ruled my own kingdom, found food for a mountain-sized endangered species, and had visions of Joan of Arc herself, you’d probably think I was a bit cracked. You might even think this is just science fiction for kids, but you’d have it all wrong.When Multiversapol, my current employer, enrolled me in the Blönduós Intergalactic School for Gifted Children in Þorlákshöfn, Iceland, I never guessed what they had planned for me. They decided to drill a hole in my head and ship me off to a village called Pinklepump on the distant planet Trummadumm 4. They wanted me to save an endangered species called a Mudsuckle Gomparump.They gave me some help. I got stuck with Dr. Wugmunn Mutt, a fat little alien who could be helpful once in a while. My so-called expert on everything made me angry half the time. He’s such a know-it-all. He quotes formulas from Chinese medicine. He even has the gall to tell me I like to stretch the truth.Most helpful, though, was a flying robot called Niascythe who looked kind of like a bearcat. The little girls of Pinklepump loved Niascythe. Even those silly twins, Melybud and Lizybud, helped out a couple times when the little she-devils weren’t fighting with each other.When we got kidnapped by the Milky Way’s nastiest pirate, Captain Berthabella Tûgajûg, I thought it was the end. She called herself the Whisperer of a Hundred Languages. I sure never heard her whisper. She was a real loudmouth. She drank jugs of grog infused with little bugs called chipyiddies.We even got attacked by a school of sharkdemons who wanted to eat our boys. I don’t know why they wouldn’t eat girls. They sure didn’t look like sharks. It turned out they were actually one-eyed Qooqua pirates with four tentacles. Pirates can be kind of cool, but I hate cannibals.I haven’t even mentioned Mudpile, the endangered species and real hero of the story (except for me). Multiversapol never told me he could talk (sort of) and had about a gazillion little muddie babies I had to find a way to feed. Ask Wugmunn if you want to know where their mommy ran off to.Of course, I couldn’t have done any of this without the help of my mentor, Joan. You know your history, right? Joan of Arc, the greatest heroine of all time. She practically conquered all of France when she was a teenager. I’m pretty sure I’m her reincarnation.Anyway, if you want to know how I overcame all this to become the Potentate of Pinklepump, you’ll just have to read my report. Then you’ll realize this isn’t just science fiction for kids. How else can you learn about aliens, pirates, cannibals, robots, endangered species, and life in the far reaches of the Universe? I’ll even give you Wugmunn’s recipe for jumping salad if you read my report.What they’re saying about The Potentate of Pinklepump‟Talk about excitement! Rosalee Adasdottir’s report is filled with thrills and spills, and how she survived battles with the most awful monsters.” - The Journal of Galactic Survival‟A wonderful tale of adventure from a 12 year old girl...a story for the ages.” - Tales of Interstellar Adventure‟Pirates, cannibals, spoiled little girls...Rosalee is the greatest adventurer in the galaxy.” - Space Traveler Weekly‟Every endangered species can be rescued. Rosalee shows us how it’s done.” - The Milky Way Guide to Endangered SpeciesCategoriesAction & AdventureRobotsScience FictionEndangered SpeciesExtraterrestrial AliensMonstersPiratesMiddle Grade Fiction