Books with author Richard Masson

They're the cookies that bite back!...The man got on the forklift and disappeared into another section of the warehouse. He came back with a sad looking pallet of boxes, a few were soaked all the way through, dripping that red fluid onto the floor. A couple of the boxes twitched and jerked. One fell to the floor, hopping and rolling around. He rolled his eyes and dismounted the forklift in a huff. He walked over to the box and kicked it repeatedly until it stopped moving. He picked it up, the box dripping from the corner, and threw it back on the pallet, which caused a few of the other boxes to shake even more violently. He looked at Hansel. "Still fresh," he said...Hansel and Gretel are two long-haul truckers, a brother and sister team, whose work order is simple: Deliver a truckload of cookies cross-country to an old witch in the forest.They stop to pick up their load and notice something isn’t right. Pastries shouldn’t be bleeding and screaming and trying to escape their boxes.Once upon a time, in an orphanage, lived a rather ugly child. Picked on mercilessly by her peers until one by one the orphans went missing. Now an old witch with a cookie addiction, she sits alone in her mansion made of sweets, waiting for her delivery of baked goods with the one special ingredient in them.Will Hansel and Gretel make their delivery on time? Will they make it out alive? Will Hansel finally admit that Gretel is the better driver?Indulge your appetite and feast your eyes on this new twist on an age-old tale.Note: This series does not need to be read in alphabetical order. Mix and match! Trade with friends!

Robert Neville may well be the last living man on Earth . . . but he is not alone. An incurable plague has mutated every other man, woman, and child into bloodthirsty, nocturnal creatures who are determined to destroy him. By day, he is a hunter, stalking the infected monstrosities through the abandoned ruins of civilization. By night, he barricades himself in his home and prays for dawn.... Richard Matheson's classic novel has now been transformed by Warner Bros. into a major motion picture starring Academy Award nominee Will Smith. Directed by Francis Lawrence ("Constantine"), the film opens nationwide in December 2007.

These aren't your childhood fairy tales."The best thing I've read since sliced bread!" -Name WithheldContained herein are three stories so twisted, they'll make you question your own sanity.Need proof? See below.One food he was curious about was the Fruit that hung from the special tree in the center of the garden. He was very tempted to eat one, just to see what it tasted like, since it looked delicious. But God said no. He was never sure why God said no. Something about how the tree possessed knowledge, and if he ate the fruits that blossomed from it, he would suddenly know things. At first it all sounded a little like science fiction to him, and a lot like bullshit. And so what if he did know things? What was the harm in that? But who was he to question God? Soon, however, he began to believe that maybe there was some truth to this knowledge thing after all. He often caught one of the goats eating a fallen Fruit from the Tree, and he was beginning to believe that the goat was becoming smarter than him. It had even learned how to walk on its hind legs, and was beginning to speak Arabic. This seemed a little too close to evolution, and he was quite surprised that God didn't put a stop to that right away. If this kept up, soon the monkeys may start turning into people. And that was some real messed up stuff. He stared at the Tree. Some day he was going to eat one of those Fruits. He'd be damned if he was going to be outwitted by a goat. -A is for AdamThe lights beaming off the disco ball played tricks with the eye as they danced through Jimmy DiFreno's chest hair. He was quite proud of his chest hair. It was part of his culture to be proud of his chest hair. He wasn't much to look at. He didn't have the classic chiseled looks of a Rudy Valentino or an Antonio Sabato Jr. One that could make the ladies swoon while simultaneously being a silent killer. No, he had the stereotypical looks of a James Gandolfini: Six-foot-two, two hundred seventy-five pounds, give or take. He knew that if he kept eating the way he did, he would most likely end up like the late great Gandolfini, but boy, did he love his gabagool. And spaghetti and meatballs. And pasta fazool. And pie. You get the picture. Not that he wasn't a good-looking guy in his own way; it's just hard to get people to believe that he wasn't in the mob with his appearance being the way it was. I mean, he was in the mob, in fact, he was the don; I'm just saying he couldn't hide the fact.-B is for BearShe looked down at the piece of pie on her own plate. It was the shape of a wedge of pie. That's where the comparison ended. The steam rising up from the hot dessert carried with it a stench the likes of which none of you fine people will ever have the misfortune of sniffing. And if you do, may God have mercy on your soul. She dug her fork in, which for some odd reason only had two tines, which made her a little jealous of her brother. Not only did he get what appeared to be the better dessert, he also got the better fork. A squealy, squeaky sound issued forth from the pie as the fork penetrated it. A gunky, snotty sludge the color of used motor oil and old mayonnaise dripped down from where the tines pierced, and blood ran out of the pores where the chocolate chips rested like blackheads on an old man's back. She risked taking a bite, and it tasted like pig meat wrapped in a 100 percent cotton undershirt.-C is for CookiePick up your copy today and see why readers are calling it outlandish. Hysterical. On the brink of lunacy.A big ol' word-buffet of the familiar and the surreal. You’ll be asking for seconds.Note: This series does not need to be read in alphabetical order. Mix and match! Trade with friends!

RUNAWAYS! is Richard Mason’s tenth novel in the “Richard, the Paperboy Series.” It’s a “Coming of Age Story” about two fourteen-year-old boys who leave home after family problems surface and unintentionally become runaways. The great flood of 1944 sweeps through the river bottoms of the deep south and traps them in a rickety, wooden boat sending them careening down the Ouachita, Black, Red, and finally into the Mississippi River. They end up in New Orleans, penniless, wearing only cutoff shorts.They sleep in a drainage culvert, and as they walk the streets of New Orleans, scrounging up food out of garbage cans, they end up working for a Bourbon Street prostitute. They are tossed into the oppressive Louisiana Reform School for boys, but, after a daring escape, they literally fight their way back to South Arkansas as they encounter railroad bums, New Orleans police, and Bourbon Street pimps. You’ll be cheering for the boys as they struggle just to survive andthen return home.This novel is Southern Historical fiction set in 1945 during the Second World War. Previous novels of this series have been favorably compared to Mark Twain's Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. The 13 book series has garnered numerous five star Amazon reviews. The series is a nostalgic look at a time when families huddled by the radio, with young boys listening to The Lone Ranger and The Green Hornet. Later the adults would tune in famous newscaster Walter Winchell; "Good evening Mr. and Mrs. North and South America and all the ships at sea....this just in...General Patton's army continues to march across Germany..." The numerous Amazon Five Star Reviews have all been from adults, but the readers of these books have ranged from teens to senior adults. The series is truly a book for all ages. Several reviewers have called Richard Mason "Americas' New Mark Twain."

For fans of Marc Richard who don't have time to read a whole novel. The perfect bathroom reader. This is how he got his start. Includes dumb ramblings and poetry that will probably make you feel better about yourself. Witness an ice skater being eaten by sharks! Unwrap odd Christmas gifts! Find out who the familiar stranger is living next door! All this and more!!!

The Danged Swamp is Volume 4 in the Richard, the Paperboy series.The Danged Swamp starts on Thanksgiving Day, 1945. This book is Southern Historical fiction set in 1945 during the Second World War. Previous novels of this series have been favorably compared to Mark Twain's Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. The 13 book series has garnered numerous five star Amazon reviews. The series is a nostalgic look at a time when families huddled by the radio, with young boys listening to The Lone Ranger and The Green Hornet. Later the adults would tune in famous newscaster Walter Winchell; "Good evening Mr. and Mrs. North and South America and all the ships at sea....this just in...General Patton's army continues to march across Germany..." The numerous Amazon Five Star Reviews have all been from adults, but the readers of these books have ranged from teens to senior adults. The series is truly a book for all ages. Several reviewers have called Richard Mason "Americas' New Mark Twain." Yeah, I remember that durn Thanksgiving really, really good, and shoot, who wouldn’t? It started out real quiet. Heck, I thought it was just gonna be one of them dress-up and eat days and that'd be it. Well, I was sure wrong. Dang, that day just went all haywire and none of it was my fault—uh, well, maybe a little bit of it was, but sometimes I get blamed for stuff that just happens, and that’s exactly why I remember that Thanksgiving Day.Heck, that morning I was just laid out in our front porch swing minding my own business, just reading a funny book, when I heard the wildest howling you’ve ever heard in your whole, entire life. ‘Course I just flew outta that swing, chunked my “Captain Marvel” funny book down and ran over to the edge of the porch. Yep, just as I thought, old, worthless Sniffer, my skinny, mixed-breed hound was howling and having a hissy fit, and I could see him running around an old hollow log just across the peach orchard’s barbed wire fence. Talk about a wild and crazy dog; you ain't never seen one more worked up.Something has come up out of the swamp, and old Sniffer has got it treed in that hollow log! I thought. ‘Course, I was just about to hightail it over to the peach orchard to check it out, but then I had one of them "watch out boy, you 'bout to get in trouble!" thoughts. Shoot, I really wanted to get off that front porch, but, heck, I knew there weren’t no way on God’s green earth I was gonna leave. I was stuck in the house because it was Thanksgiving Day, and Momma was gonna make sure I’d be clean for dinner. Yeah, I had my washtub bath last night, and this morning I put on my good white shirt, long pants and new Sunday shoes, and combed my hair. Well, I looked like I was all slicked up and ready for church, but, shoot, I wasn’t going nowheres but to the dining room table. Lemme tell you something right now: I’m 13 years old, and being trapped on your front porch when your dog has something treed in a hollow log is pretty dang hard to take. But, heck, I was gonna sit right there till Momma called me in for dinner. You know why? Well, it’s because Momma had threatened me with the switching of my life if I as much as set foot in the yard, and, whooo, just the thought of one of Daddy’s switchings makes me shake. It ain’t worth it—not by a long shot. That's why I didn't hightail it across the yard to the peach orchard to check out what Sniffer had treed.Richard Mason is the author of The Red Scarf, Lyin' Like a Dog, The Yankee Doctor, "I will drink your blood" The Vampire-Werewolf of Flat Creek Swamp, The Mystery of the Canebrake, The River Rat and a Catahoula Hog Dog and How Me and John Clayton Saved the World. Richard Mason has been dubbed 'Americas' new Mark Twain' for beautifully capturing small town America and boyhood adventure.

It’s 1944 and in the little village of Norphlet, Arkansas, Richard and John Clayton are making plans for a quiet summer of fun. However, north of their town is a German Prisoner of War Camp, and just when everyone thinks the War with Germany is about over, there is an escape from the camp and a rabid, Gestapo Colonel leads five former SS Soldiers on a mission of destruction. As the POWs race south to attack the South Arkansas oil refineries, they end up camping in Flat Creek Swamp, just a few miles south of Norphlet. After stumbling upon their camp, the boys plot a daring capture of the POWs. However, that wild summer had a lot more going on than just German POWs on the run. A crazy vision by the boy’s good friend, Ears, has everyone in town changing their name to “Jasper”. And while all of that is going on, Homer Ray’s, bullying causes the boys to try and stop the bullying for good with a trick to end all tricks. Yes, all the Norphlet characters are still part of this wild summer, as Big Six, Doc, Bubba, and Marshal Wing fit right into the story.As the summer of 1944 passes, the escapades of the two boys seem to run together as the boys try to balance the startling events in the little village, while plotting to capture the German POWs.this novel is Southern Historical fiction set in 1945 during the Second World War. Previous novels of this series have been favorably compared to Mark Twain's Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. The 13 book series has garnered numerous five star Amazon reviews. The series is a nostalgic look at a time when families huddled by the radio, with young boys listening to The Lone Ranger and The Green Hornet. Later the adults would tune in famous newscaster Walter Winchell; "Good evening Mr. and Mrs. North and South America and all the ships at sea....this just in...General Patton's army continues to march across Germany..." The numerous Amazon Five Star Reviews have all been from adults, but the readers of these books have ranged from teens to senior adults. The series is truly a book for all ages. Several reviewers have called Richard Mason "Americas' New Mark Twain."

Aliens. Armageddon. President Mel Gibson?America is in trouble, dudes.The country is in ruins after the president walls it up, sealing it like a giant prison. The rich get richer and the poor starve to death in the streets. Enter the Invaders, a secret society led by a charismatic and flawlessly handsome dude named Dave. Their mission: Destroy the forces in D.C. and take back the U.S.A.!Starlet Richter is your typical transgender American woman. After years of watching the place fall apart, she’s gonna do something about it. Eric Tisdsale is Starlet’s long-lost love. He’s making a pretty mundane living as a pool shark, until one phone call changes everything. Will they save each other? Themselves? The world? How about when they discover the president is not actually human, and there may be more of his kind hiding among us?"The worst thing you'll read all year!" raves the general population. "Fake News!" cries D.T. DAVE! is a science fiction comedy that features fast-paced action, pie-throwing clowns, nudists, and lots and lots of aliens. Equal parts Hitchhiker’s Guide and Coen Brothers, download now and laugh your way through the apocalypse!

It all started with mysterious writing on the town's water tank. There is a specter amongst you. Richard and John Clayton were puzzled, but like the rest of the town they just thought it was schoolboys fooling around. But as the days passed and more messages appeared everyone realized the "specter" or Phantom was evil, and was out to destroy the little village. When FBI agents arrived in town, and a huge reward was posted, the boys could only see dollar signs, and they joined the hunt for the Phantom. It's a madhouse of FBI agents, 14-year-old boys, and the towns’ characters colliding in hilarious series of mis-adventures that will keep you enthralled and laughing until the shocking ending.This novel is Southern Historical fiction set in 1945 during the Second World War. Previous novels of this series have been favorably compared to Mark Twain's Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. The 13 book series has garnered numerous five star Amazon reviews. The series is a nostalgic look at a time when families huddled by the radio, with young boys listening to The Lone Ranger and The Green Hornet. Later the adults would tune in famous newscaster Walter Winchell; "Good evening Mr. and Mrs. North and South America and all the ships at sea....this just in...General Patton's army continues to march across Germany..." The numerous Amazon Five Star Reviews have all been from adults, but the readers of these books have ranged from teens to senior adults. The series is truly a book for all ages. Several reviewers have called Richard Mason "Americas' New Mark Twain."

It’s the summer of 1944 and Richard, the Norphlet Paperboy, John Clayton, and Ears are in one heck of a mess. Yeah, there was an ‘accident’ involving a small herd of 10 Chihuahuas, which has sent the whole state into an uproar, and the three boys are right in the middle of it. An attack by the Chihuahuas on Richard, the paperboy has left the brown, award-winning Chihuahuas with white spots, and as Richard will tell you, “It was all a danged accident, but we’re in big trouble, and if lying won’t get us off, then maybe the Norphlet Mafia is gonna hafta do something really, really bad. You know, like dognapping, or something so gross it will run the Little Rock private eye right out of town.”The series are Southern Historical fiction set in 1945 during the Second World War. Previous novels of this series have been favorably compared to Mark Twain's Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. The 13 book series has garnered numerous five star Amazon reviews. The series is a nostalgic look at a time when families huddled by the radio, with young boys listening to The Lone Ranger and The Green Hornet. Later the adults would tune in famous newscaster Walter Winchell; "Good evening Mr. and Mrs. North and South America and all the ships at sea....this just in...General Patton's army continues to march across Germany..." The numerous Amazon Five Star Reviews have all been from adults, but the readers of these books have ranged from teens to senior adults. The series is truly a book for all ages. Several reviewers have called Richard Mason "Americas' New Mark Twain."

As a young boy, Richard Mason lived the life of the paperboy, ‘Richard, in the novel. His interactions with the people in the small town of Norphlet, Arkansas, and the surrounding woods and swamps, form the basis of his seven-book Richard, the Paperboy series. It was a time of brown, sunburned feet and shirtless summers, when a boy’s only entertainment was his imagination. This book recounts the tale of how Richard and his best friend John Clayton saved the world. PRAISE FOR RICHARD MASON'S PREVIOUS BOOKS“….The Red Scarf is a wonderful Tom Sawyer type of adventure with all the background, humor and whimsy of that notable work.” - D. Blankenship (The Ozarks, USA)“[The Red Scarf]…is absolutely amazing in its capturing a time and place that has long since passed. The ending is perfect. I would recommend it to readers of all ages. Richard Mason may well be this generation's Mark Twain.”- Edwin B Alderson“'Lyin' Like A Dog is a well written and highly entertaining story of young boys growing up in the South in the 1940s….This novel has some of the same feel as a couple of highly acclaimed novels set a hundred years before - Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn.” - S.Peek (Rocky Mountains, USA)“Lyin’ Like a Dog is cheerful and mischievous little work that has an old world charm and playfulness ala the adventures of Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer.” - Brian Wallace (Author)“….I particularly enjoyed their Tom Sawyer-like adventures told in the childish vernacular of the narrator, Richard Mason.”- Betty L. Dravis (Silicon Valley, CA)“….He is a poor boy from rural Arkansas in 1945, a kind of son-of-Tom-Sawyer.” - David Bryson (Derbyshire, England)