Joey Blanks: Budget Hit Man: A romantic
Michael C. Hughes
Paperback
(Independently published, Feb. 16, 2017)
A romantic retro mob comedy. It's the 1990s, the heydays of the Jersey mob. Who knew these guys could be so nuts?And Joey? You never met no one like Joey! "Falling down funny! Like Borat's idiot cousin meeting the Sopranos!" - R. Clark, Senior Screenwriter, Film/TV, Team Lead Comedy This is a story mainly about Joey and Zoey. But first, there was mob boss, Big Paulie Pasquale He has left a video will. In it he tells his crew to protect and provide work for his idiot nephew and godson, Joseph Blanconi: “JOEY BLANKS.” Grudgingly, they do so. Then they find that Joey has an upside. They can give him contracts to hit fellow mobster which he will screw up in such earnest but spectacular fashion that the target will realize there's a contract out and will either settle up the grievance, or flee the country, the only two mob outs. All is going well in Joey's world as he manages to mangle a few hit assignments, a few mob guys leave the country, and the crew is generally happy with Joey as their fallback guy. That is until Joey manages to lose five million dollars of mob money out of the back of his beaten up old Mazda hatchback. When he screws up THAT big, he ends up in waaaay over his head and on the run from unforgiving crime boss Vince Capellini. Good thing his gal Zoey is there to save his butt. Over and over she saves his butt. Can she do it again this time? Joey and Zoey scramble to recover the missing loot and trace the suitcase of cash to another hapless couple who drive an identical old blue Mazda hatchback. Archie and Loretta Carter are from the Okmulgee in the mid-west and haven’t got a clue who they’re dealing with in Jersey when they go on a spending spree with their newly-found mob money. Joey, through his trusty Hindi sidekick, Bindare Dundat, tracks the money to them and, with Zoey's help, they have to figure out how to get back the hundreds of thousands of Vince’s money that Archie and Loretta have already paid out and put down on everything from fur coats to condos before they can even TRY to give the money back. Then they just have to convince Vince to meet with them without shooting them so they can explain it all. Being that they are based in South Amboy, New Jersey, they set the up meeting at one of Joey’s favorite good luck places, the Pinball Museum at Asbury Park out on the Jersey shore. When Vince shows up with Big Angie and Carmine the Castrator in tow, someone had better be ready to do some fast thinking―and talking.In the end, Zoey ends up being the one who stands up to the Jersey mob, explains how she put together a plan to recover all the loot and basically saves the day ... and Joey’s butt. Again!