Boobs: A Coming of Age, Romantic Comedy
Kara Miller
language
(Charlotte Street Publishing, May 25, 2015)
Grace is an ugly duckling from a dysfunctional home who knows she's not worth a damn. She's not pretty, not popular, not fashionable, not smart. And she's been in love with the same boy since kindergarten. What she does today means her life will never be the same again - not her love life, her family life or even her relationship with her bunch of fellow misfit, ragtag friends. Read on your Computer, Smart Phone, Tablet or Kindle. This coming of age story is funny and, at times, heartbreaking. BOOBS is horrifically and hilariously honest and follows 'plain jane' Grace as she navigates through the strange rollercoaster that's called growing up... Love, loss, family drama, first dates, frenemies, betrayal and life with a bunch of misfit friends.-------------------------If Chris Rock and John Green had a baby... BOOBS would be born.*** GRACE - 13 YEAR OLD JAMAICAN-AMERICAN:"How can I ask Hasan out lookin like this?! When you've loved someone since kindergarten, you have to look boonoonoonoos when you tell them you want to be their girlfriend. Or else, instead of wantin to kiss you on the lips and put their hand down your shirt, they'll be rememberin that time you farted in the sleepin bag.I can't believe how obzocky I look. Funny lookin and not in a good way. My teeth are too big and my whole face just doesn't make sense. And why did I saka saka up my eyebrows last night???! Now I look like a alien. And my hair! Oh no! It needs... I don't know? A transplant or somethin. These two sticky out plaits make me look like a child! And there's nothin I can do about my clothes... Momma makes them. Whenever I ask for money to go and buy somethin cool all she says is, "I can make that".Today's the day I'm tellin him how I feel... I may not look good but if I smile, I'm real sure I'll look better. I've got three good smiles, I just need to choose one. I try:1) My happy, carefree Miley Cyrus smile with top and bottom teeth showin.2) My cool-as-a-breeze sexy Rihanna smile. With that one it's just your top teeth and not the full set, just like four or maybe six teeth showin.3) My no teeth smile. It's kind of mysterious. A lot of really beautiful women do this one. Not sure I can get away with it.I'm goin to go with the Rihanna smile. Sophisticated but still friendly. Hasan will eat that up."*** CELIA - 15 YEAR OLD PREGNANT, REDHEADED MATH WHIZZ:"A prime number is a number that cannot be dicked around. It's only divisible by itself and the number 1. It doesn't need a lot of company. No one really knows it. It's unique, complex and self contained. A freak of nature. Like me.I am a prime number.A year ago I could never have imagined I'd be here, doing this... Naked from the waist down. Laying on a doctor's examining table.From this angle, I can see the blue reticular veins snaking under the skin of my inner thighs. God I'm pale. Irish pale.Dr Papadopoulos is putting the speculum in now. It's metal. So cold and fricking unyielding. Hurts. Like glass breaking inside of me but I can't flinch. Ouch! Got a rep to protect... even when I'm bare assed with a board certified medical practitioner poking around inside of me. "