The Goob Factor
Jody Kihara
language
(Star Magnolia Publishing, Feb. 22, 2011)
Parents⌠school⌠friends⌠bullies⌠fourteen years old is a tough age to be. Especially if your name is Gooby.Like most teenagers, Jay Gooby is convinced he has it worse than anyone else. His parents donât fit the normal mold, and he has endured a lifetime of merciless teasing â especially at the hands of his lifelong enemy, Mike Thornley. But Jay has to take on more than just school and hockey when two major events take place: his parents adopt a special needs child, and a freak accident occurs at the hockey rink. Life sure can get a lot more complicated⌠and at the same time, a lot simpler.EXCERPTLetâs face it, if you come into this world with a name like Gooby, youâre pretty much done for. I canât believe that after decades (centuries, maybe!) of kids getting pummeled in playgrounds, the world hasnât figured this one out by now. Hey, attention parents â newsflash! This just in! Donât land your kid with a stupid name!Jeez, youâd think theyâd have done studies on it or something, proven what a nightmare effect it has on a kidâs formative years. Not that anyone really needs to do a study. I mean, take a look around you at school, and you have your answer. How easy a time is a kid going to have if his name is, I donât know, Dilbert or something? Not exactly a name that screams âleadership!â But maybe if some brainiac were to write it up in a scientific journal, parents would actually take notice. I could write the whole thing myself, but even if I wrote in letters ten feet high, my parents still probably wouldnât get it.âHey Goober!â a voice calls out.Nickname number one. Takes a real genius to come up with that one. I donât even turn around; I already know the genius in question is Mike Thornley. Itâs the hey-world-look-at-me, Iâm MIKE THORNLEY in his voice that gives it away. Oh, that and the fact heâs been calling me names for nine straight years now. I could probably pick his voice out of a screaming crowd of a thousand people. While wearing headphones.âGoobs!âNickname number two.Thereâs Gooby, Goobs, Goober, Goobster, and then my personal favourite: Booger. That one doesnât even make sense. Whack. Ow. Textbook. Head.I swing around, ready to nail Thornley with my backpack, but heâs already jumped out of the way. Heâs always hitting me with books or tripping me up or slamming me against lockers.Nine years is a long time. I should know; Iâm fourteen.âSo Goob-Goob!â (Oh, did I forget to mention that one?) âYou going to practice tomorrow?âI turn to look at him. Heâs smiling. Heâd actually look friendly if it werenât for all the years of nicknames, jokes, punches, wedgies, and general roughhousing on his slate. âYeah, Iâm goinâ.ââGreat! âCause my team really needs you, man.âThis would sound nice if I werenât on a different team.