Books with author C.E. Johnson

It's not always the quest for the cup. Sometimes, it's the quest for what's in the cup.Lance wants nothing more than to be there to fight the dragons for his beloved Princess Alexandra. With his faithful steed by his side, Lance sets out for the magic elixir found only in the Holy Grail. With its strengthening power, facing off an old hag, the bewitching woods, and the strange ogre who lives under a bridge should be easy. But when it comes to Alexandra's dragons, things aren't quite what they all seem to be. Will Lance's gift be enough -- or will his princess require something even more powerful to sustain her? Pull up a cup of your favorite "elixir" and enjoy this sweet and snarky satire story from C. S. Johnson, where the dragons are real, even if they aren't. FROM THE STORY: Every knight has a quest, and every quest has its reward.As a knight-errant, albeit one still in training, with only a year of service behind him, Lance took his duty seriously. But waking up was also a serious business, and that was why, despite the midmorning light flickering over his face, Lance was still half asleep. His faithful steed stepped up to help him, breathing smelly fumes into his face.“Blah!” Lance sputtered, trying to clear his tongue of the frothy waft. “What have you been eating, Percy?”His pet’s pungent wake-up call forced Lance to roll over. When the heat of Percy’s breath continued to eat into the shield of his pending sleep, Lance finally gave in to his beast’s rude awakening.“Alright, I’m getting up. Back from me, you fearsome brute.”The horse was far from intimidated by Lance’s waking grogginess; instead, he moved closer to his master, nuzzling him with his wet nose.“You’re lucky you’re the runt of your family,” Lance grumbled, sitting up. He patted down his hair, brushing the chestnut locks out of his eyes, before taking in the full sight of the bouncing creature before him. “Or you would be tied outside, like the ones at my mother’s house.”Percy gave a small yip, and the nuzzle became a nudge.“Alright, alright,” Lance muttered, petting his horse’s long, flowing mane playfully. “I know you’re hungry.”He also knew there was no point in trying to sleep when Percy was hungry—no matter how sleepy he still was.“I suppose you’re right, anyway, Percy.” Lance yawned and rubbed his hands over his face. “We promised the princess we would save her today, and every knight knows there is nothing more important than completing his quest.”Lance tossed Percy several treats and stroked his pet affectionately, before he put on his armor for the day. He pulled a breastplate polished to a shine over his head, slipped his feet into protective boots, and even donned a helmet to protect his face from the bright summer sunshine.Before too long, he stepped outside his quarters. Percy came trotting eagerly after him. With his steed at his side and a grin on his face, Lance set out into the morning to see his princess.“Princess Alexandra, I am coming for you,” he called out rapturously, eager to see his beloved once more.FROM THE AUTHOR: It's a good romantic tale that hints at the darker sides of depression and mental health, and the troubles we sometimes face when we befriend our demons, with liquid portals, jokes about avocados, strange references to illegal plants, and coffee runs. What's not to love? WHAT REVIEWERS ARE SAYING: "... An endearing story of love ... " ~ Dee Bookworm

*A USA Today Bestseller* He traveled to hell, danced with the devil and made it back to her, but his toughest challenge is still ahead...getting her to marry him. As a SEAL, Jon Rudnick dodged copper and lead without flinching, but just the thought of one tiny gold band around his ring finger has always sent him into a cold sweat. Love is one thing, but marriage is another. He's not sure he's ready for that just yet, until a near miss serves as a wake-up call he can't ignore.Now he's ready, but his girlfriend Ali has gone from rushing him toward the altar, to running in the opposite direction at full speed. Hell if Jon can figure out why, but he knows one thing--all's fair in love and war. He's not going to rest until he makes Ali his again. This time for good.

When Emma Johnson's marriage ended she found herself broke, pregnant, and alone with a toddler. Searching for the advice she needed to navigate her new life as a single professional woman and parent, she discovered there was very little sage wisdom available. In response, Johnson launched the popular blog Wealthysinglemommy.com to speak to other women who, like herself, wanted to not just survive but thrive as single moms. Now, in this complete guide to single motherhood, Johnson guides women in confronting the naysayers in their lives (and in their own minds) to build a thriving career, achieve financial security, and to reignite their romantic life—all while being a kickass parent to their kids. The Kickass Single Mom shows readers how to: • Build a new life that is entirely on their own terms. • Find the time to devote to health, hobbies, friendships, faith, community and travel. • Be a joyful, present and fun mom, and proud role model to your kids. Full of practical advice and inspiration from Emma's life, as well as other successful single moms, this is a must-have resource for any single mom.

Islandia had been without a High King for a generation. Eloy, the last High King, embarked upon a journey shrouded in mystery after a cryptic warning found from a long lost prophet promised a return of ancient dark forces. Eloy had placed the rule of Islandia and the five kingdoms in the hands of his closest friend, King Richard. After thirty years most have long since stopped looking for Eloy's return or the darkness foretold. Many under Richard's rule have grown discontent and jealous of his appointment. All hope for peace is lost and chaos reigns after the icy hand of an assassin takes the life of King Richard and plucks him from the throne. What now? Will Prince Titus, Richard's son, have the strength to hold Islandia together, or will it descend into war over the High King's throne! The kingdom is divided by the sword as each must decide where their loyalties lie.

When Emma Johnson's marriage ended she found herself broke, pregnant, and alone with a toddler. Searching for the advice she needed to navigate her new life as a single professional woman and parent, she discovered there was very little sage wisdom available. In response, Johnson launched the popular blog Wealthysinglemommy.com to speak to other women who, like herself, wanted to not just survive but thrive as single moms. Now, in this complete guide to single motherhood, Johnson guides women in confronting the naysayers in their lives (and in their own minds) to build a thriving career, achieve financial security, and to reignite their romantic life—all while being a kickass parent to their kids. The Kickass Single Mom shows readers how to: • Build a new life that is entirely on their own terms. • Find the time to devote to health, hobbies, friendships, faith, community and travel. • Be a joyful, present and fun mom, and proud role model to your kids. Full of practical advice and inspiration from Emma's life, as well as other successful single moms, this is a must-have resource for any single mom.

"Mark Johnson has a magical way of picking you up from your comfy reading chair and dropping you off in the heart of the cold and at times unforgiving Himalayas. I read the whole book in just a few quick sittings and constantly found myself laughing, biting my nails, and undeniably identifying with every ridiculous thing Mark found himself doing on his journey. If you enjoy grand adventures and a fair share of “dad humor,” add Mark’s EBC chronicle to your bookshelf now." ~ Tim Moore, The Penny HoarderImagine yourself trekking through the epic Himalayan wilderness to Everest Base Camp — 17,600 feet above sea level and the gateway to the planet’s most iconic mountain. Experience the world's most startling, high-altitude landscapes, interact with the welcoming Sherpa people, and struggle to catch your breath as you narrowly avoid being trampled by an oncoming train of enormous, shaggy yaks loaded with climbing expedition supplies. Now, imagine living this adventure without leaving your favorite reading chair."Doofus Dad Does Everest Base Camp" brings that scenario to life.In April 2018, Tennessee writer Mark E. Johnson embarked on a life-changing, grueling, and often-hilarious adventure — a 12-day, 80-mile trek to Mount Everest Base Camp in Nepal's Himalaya Mountains — after launching an improbable trekking company a year earlier. This was Johnson's first excursion out of the continental U.S., and this journey into the exotic country of Nepal was indeed a trial by fire (and ice). Hike alongside "Doofus Dad" on each part of this bucket list quest, from the starting point of Nashville, Tennessee, through a mind-numbing 23 hours of air travel, into the suicidal traffic of Kathmandu, and on every day of the trek with equal parts lush detail and sly humor. Experience Kathmandu’s Hindu and Buddhist temples, visit the infamous Yeti's Scalp of the Khumjung Monastery and join in on a hysterical salsa dance lesson at 14,000-feet. “Doofus Dad Does Everest Base Camp” is a gripping adventure story that also serves as a practical resource for future trekkers. It includes:A standard EBC trekking mapAn EBC itineraryDaily trekking statistics including elevation changes and hiking timesThe gear lists of Mark and his wife, HollyA Nepal trekking training guideThe foreword is provided by mountaineering legend and Everest blogger Alan Arnette, called "one of America’s most respected chroniclers of Everest," by Outside Magazine. “This book is a must-have for the bookshelf of yesterday's, today's and tomorrow's traveler,” says Arnette.The audiobook is read by Johnson and even includes sound effects from the trek itself.Johnson is a longtime freelancer and blog writer, best known for his Dave Barry-esque stories about parenting, rural living, and health and fitness.

Islandia had been without a High King for a generation. Eloy, the last High King, embarked upon a journey shrouded in mystery after a cryptic warning found from a long lost prophet promised a return of ancient dark forces. Eloy had placed the rule of Islandia and the five kingdoms in the hands of his closest friend, King Richard. After thirty years most have long since stopped looking for Eloy's return or the darkness foretold. Many under Richard's rule have grown discontent and jealous of his appointment. All hope for peace is lost and chaos reigns after the icy hand of an assassin takes the life of King Richard and plucks him from the throne. What now? Will Prince Titus, Richard’s son, have the strength to hold Islandia together, or will it descend into war over the High King’s throne! The kingdom is divided by the sword as each must decide where their loyalties lie. -Experience an edge of your seat thrill ride as each kingdom of Islandia seeks to carve out their own rule-Explore a tale of loyalty and lordship

Asking for help is only the first step Jennifer can’t go on like this—binging, purging, starving, all while trying to appear like she’s got it all together. But when she finally confesses her secret to her parents and is hospitalized at the Samuel Tuke Center, her journey is only beginning. As Jennifer progresses through her treatment, she learns to recognize her relationships with food, friends, and family—and how each relationship is healthy or unhealthy. She has to learn to trust herself and her own instincts, but that’s easier than it sounds. She has to believe—after many years of being a believarexic. Using her trademark dark humor and powerful emotion, J. J. Johnson tells an inspiring story that is based on her own experience of being hospitalized for an eating disorder as a teenager. The innovative format—which tells Jennifer’s story through blank verse and prose, with changes in tense and voice, and uses forms, workbooks, and journal entries—mirrors the protagonist’s progress toward a healthy body and mind.

After a celebrity suffers a big crime in a small town, Hollywood pressure sets in for immediate answers. As clues disappear, and detectives suffer the media's wrath, a sudden surveillance tape reveals a possible eye-witness to the whole crime. But their teenage native, Dedra Kare, has just one problem: retrograde amnesia.With a medical remedy to unlock it all, detectives suffer the extra mystery as to why her parents are refusing to give consent. What does Dedra not know that she possibly could? And will she ever, as a teenager? Is she somehow involved in the actual crime? And would leaking her potential make Dedra a target for someone else determined to silence her memory for good?With her hidden yearbook, a missing autograph, and her tricky little sister, it's an unfamiliar race down memory lane with the traffic of mystery. Experience the shortcuts of insistence from sidekicks to pranksters to worse. But as justice becomes impatient, and family demands loyalty, Dedra faces a memorable dilemma: should she move past the past, explore it fully, or 'remember to forget.'Table of Contents"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything" - Mark TwainChapter 1: Autograph from the PastChapter 2: The Blind DateChapter 3: Rhythm of AnxietyChapter 4: Familiar's TerritoryChapter 5: The Clue QueenChapter 6: Remember to ForgetClues & ExtrasSymbolism, Book Club Questions, and More!

It's been nearly 40 years since the Continental United States experienced a Total Solar Eclipse. And now, on August 21st, the eclipse will travel from one end of the United States to the other; from Sea to Shining Sea! You don't want to miss out on this spectacular event!Solar Eclipse 2017 is a beautifully illustrated guidebook written specifically for kids. Our goal is to help parents prepare their children for the upcoming phenomena and get them excited about science. Get ready to jump start your child's love of Science and Space with Solar Eclipse 2017!

A young girl's life is shattered when she is stolen from her African village in a midnight raid. Ruthlessly torn from her family to be beaten, chained, degraded, and enslaved in a heartless world she can barely comprehend. The slave ledger at Virginia's Belle Grove Plantation only reveals that Judah was purchased to be the cook, gave birth to 12 children, and died in April 1836. But, like the other 276 faceless names entered in that ledger, Judah lived. Brian C. Johnson's important work of historical fiction goes beyond what is recorded to portray the depth, humanity, and vulnerability of a beautiful soul all but erased by history. For Judah, as Johnson notes, "did the ultimate--she survived. Not as a weakling, but resilient and determined."

Scores of natural disasters have pushed Earth into a steady stream of chaos. Sixteen-year-old half-elf, arch mage Emily Dalton suspects the impending holocaust is part of a master plan put into motion by Iscar - a powerful magician, driven by his family's desire to conquer Earth and the parallel planet of Acacia. The only way to thwart Iscar's efforts is to journey past thousands of half-dead warriors in the Dothan Forest and avoid an even deadlier opponent, Maaca, the Queen of the vampires. Will Emily survive the crossing back into Acacia to save the world?