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Books with author Roy Lancaster

  • Stories I'd Tell in Bars

    Jen Lancaster

    eBook (Altgeld Shrugged, Inc., July 25, 2017)
    Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder. As she details the chaos that will surely ensue if she has to learn to operate one more television remote control, you'll want to settle in and pour yourself a tall one. Because what's more fun than hearing a friend share her favorite stories?
  • Stories I'd Tell in Bars

    Jen Lancaster

    Paperback (Independently published, July 21, 2017)
    Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older - but arguably not wiser - Lancaster gets back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting stoned with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder. As she details the chaos that will surely ensue if she has to learn to operate one more television remote control, you'll want to settle in and pour yourself a tall one. Because what's more fun than hearing a friend share her favorite stories?
  • Parrot Takes Command

    Roy Lancaster

    eBook (Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd, June 30, 2017)
    ‘Parrot was very angry indeed. He was also very wet. Although he had heard the cry to abandon ship, and had even seen the sailors jumping into the lifeboat, before he could jump in too, the huge, towering wave swept him spluttering and squawking over the side.'After this dramatic start, Parrot, a bird who has forgotten how to fly having spent most of his life on perches or human shoulders, has to learn how to survive in a wide open and at times dangerous sea. But he is not alone, a handful of other animals share his shipwrecked fate and place their trust in him to see them through.Parrot Takes Command is a delightful book full of adult relationship themes covered at a child's level. It is funny, a little dangerous and is beautifully illustrated.
  • Parrot Takes Command

    Roy Lancaster

    Paperback (Austin Macauley Publishing, June 30, 2017)
    Parrot was very angry indeed. He was also very wet. Although he had heard the cry to abandon ship, and had even seen the sailors jumping into the lifeboat, before he could jump in too, the huge, towering wave swept him spluttering and squawking over the side.' After this dramatic start, Parrot, a bird who has forgotten how to fly having spent most of his life on perches or human shoulders, has to learn how to survive in a wide open and at times dangerous sea. But he is not alone, a handful of other animals share his shipwrecked fate and place their trust in him to see them through.Parrot Takes Command is a delightful book full of adult relationship themes covered at a child's level. It is funny, a little dangerous and is beautifully illustrated.
    L
  • The Best of Enemies

    Jen Lancaster

    Hardcover (Berkley, Aug. 4, 2015)
    Bridesmaids meets Big Little Lies in a novel told from the alternating perspectives of two women who define the term frenemies—from New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster. Jacqueline Jordan knows conflict. A fearless journalist, she’s spent the past decade embedded in the world’s hot spots, writing about the fall of nations and the rise of despots. But if you were to inquire about who topped Jack’s enemy list, she’d not hesitate to answer: Kitty Carricoe. Kitty reigns supreme over the world of carpools and minivans. A SAHM, she spends her days caring for her dentist husband and three towheaded children, running the PTA, and hiding vegetables in deceptively delicious packed lunches. Kitty and Jack haven’t a single thing in common—except for Sarabeth Chandler, their mutual bestie. Sarabeth and Jack can be tomboys with the best of them, while Sarabeth can get her girly-girl on with Kitty. In fact, the three of them were college friends until the notorious incident when Jack accidentally hooked up with Kitty’s boyfriend… Yet both women drop everything and rush to Sarabeth’s side when they get the call that her fabulously wealthy husband has perished in a suspicious plane crash. To solve the mystery surrounding his death, Jack and Kitty must bury the hatchet and hit the road for a trip that just may bring them together—if it doesn’t kill them first.
  • Invincible Until Then

    J. A. Lancaster

    language (, April 12, 2018)
    4000 years ago, Gordeth detonated a Negulas blast that annihilated two civilizations and threw an asteroid at another. Since the Great Extermination, his forces have been dimming stars one by one and the surrounding life vanishes with the light.But there is a prophecy on this side of the wormhole known as the Purple Tube that offers the faintest glimpse of hope in which an Earthling, believed not to exist, rescues a Valerian, thought to be extinct, and goes on to fight Gordeth. When Joe Parker emerges in a homemade spaceship from Earth after terrorizing some hillbillies, the Zargalians have the nerve to think him to be insane. And for the most part, they are right.Reviews from actual readers. “… Fun read …” “… Easily quotable …” and “… Lots of fun!”“This was a fun read …” and “A lot of humor …”
  • Trees

    Roy Lancaster

    Hardcover (Book Sales, June 1, 1987)
    large green hardcover
  • The Best of Enemies

    Jen Lancaster

    eBook (Altgeld Shrugged, Inc., Aug. 10, 2017)
    Bridesmaids meets Big Little Lies in a novel told from the alternating perspectives of two women who define the term frenemies—from New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster. A lighthearted domestic suspense novel, delivered in the vein of Susan Isaacs.Jacqueline Jordan knows conflict. A fearless journalist, she’s spent the past decade embedded in the world’s hot spots, writing about the fall of nations and the rise of despots. But if you were to inquire about who topped Jack’s enemy list, she’d not hesitate to answer: Kitty Carricoe.Kitty reigns supreme over the world of carpools and minivans. A SAHM, she spends her days caring for her dentist husband and three towheaded children, running the PTA, and hiding vegetables in deceptively delicious packed lunches. But her life is not as perfect as it seems.Kitty and Jack haven’t a single thing in common—except for Sarabeth Chandler, their mutual best friend. Both women drop everything and rush to Sarabeth’s side when they learn her fabulously wealthy husband has perished in a suspicious plane crash. To solve the mystery surrounding his death, Jack and Kitty must bury the hatchet and hit the road for a trip that just may bring them together—if it doesn’t kill them first.
  • Doomsday Boy

    J. A. Lancaster

    language (, July 20, 2018)
    According to the divine wisdom of Rupert, it is okay for the Zargalians to mess with the space-time continuum. The plan is to go back in time and prevent Gordeth from detonating a Negulas blast that destroyed the Planet of the Valerians and its moon of Erdatron and make certain that the crystal planet of Zargala does not get obliterated by an asteroid. Gordeth sent his most evil men to prevent Joe Parker and his friends from doing so, and those already there in the past are even more determined to be the reason they fail, or better yet, die. But when Joe Parker does journey to these ancient civilizations, will anyone even believe him, can he even change the past, or will they just throw him in an asylum along with the other loonies claiming the end is near?
  • Heart of Ice

    S.A. Lancaster

    language (Sarah A Lancaster, Aug. 18, 2014)
    When sixteen year old Liss Llaron moves with her dad from Nevada to Colorado, all she wants is to get back home to her friends as quickly as possible. Sure, living practically inside Yellowstone National Park is gorgeous and all, and the locals seem nice, but she wants her old friends and her old school and her old life.Then she gets attacked by a bear.And saved by a monster.Months later, people start disappearing.If Liss doesn’t move fast she’ll never make it back to Nevada. At least, not alive.
  • Calligraphy

    J. Lancaster

    Paperback (Watts Pub Group, Aug. 31, 2004)
    None
  • Joe Parker's Prophecy of Zargala

    J.A. Lancaster

    Paperback (lulu.com, Aug. 22, 2011)
    A powerful overlord is darkening the galaxy one star at a time just because he likes things dark, and only earthling Joe Parker and his gigantic purple octopus friend can stop him. They need to form an alliance before the local binary is extinguished, for it is the brightest star this side of the Purple Tube. They will visit the polluted world of Topia which has last time machine in the Ancient Museum of Earthling Archeology, which best earthling artifacts on Earth anywhere, including earth. They will visit an crystal asteroid named Zargala that holds a prophecy which is key.