UN-PUTDOWNABLES by Kikkatinkan
Bill Hart, Bill and Christine Hart, Christine, Christine Hart
language
(NEWLiiNE Words & Music UK, June 22, 2011)
Languishing listfully inside a cold dark warehouse in Lankyland are the Putdownables. Many of them have been there for a long time; too long ago to remember just how they came to be there and from where they originally came. A small shed, an old broken-down telephone box and a rusty well-used wood-burning stove were amongst its many occupants. They were known as the Putdownables because once, in the dim and distant past, they had been extremely useful but now they had either grown old, were broken-down and seemingly beyond repair or, quite simply, their owners had grown tired of them and had replaced them with something more up to date and modern; or ‘putdown’ as one might say. However, they were not so past-it as to be discarded and dumped on a land-fill site or dismantled in a scrap yard, but neither were any of them seemingly able and properly functioning: Most certainly none of them would ever make-it onto TV’s Antiques Road Show but were too good to be used in Scrap Heap Challenge; neither would they make a decent auction on eBay; they were sort of in-between. These odd Warehouse tranklements were however, highly regarded by their owner Catchpenny. Too good to be thrown away, they were kept here ‘for a rainy day’, and just maybe, in the near future, he just might sell them and turn the Putdownables into a money making scheme and turn-in a lucrative profit.But soon events overtook these plans when a huge stash of valuable coins - solid silver tanners - were discovered in an old clapped-out van parked out-back to the rear of the Warehouse. These coins however, were no ordinary coins; they had been specially commissioned and made for distribution to children to celebrate Lankyland Day which had been inexplicably cancelled some time ago by the Shedport Elders. Made of the most solid and purest of silver metals, they were never officially released from the Royal Shedport Minty, from where they had mysteriously ‘disappeared’ from the deepest vaults and seemingly into thin air; that is until now. Ownership of this stash of silver coins was mythically known to enable life or death powers to be granted to the fortunate possessors.The Putdownables suddenly found themselves involved and on a dangerous but exciting mission. At the same time, they were discovering that a new lease of life from outside the safe, cosy confines of the Warehouse were there to be enjoyed by them all. By choosing to return the solid silver tanners to their kind and rightful owners they were determined to guard this treasure from falling into the wrong hands at all costs. Many villains sought the almighty ‘power’ of their ownership and would stop at nothing to procure them. Ceremoniously renaming themselves Un-Pudownables they embark on a hazardous journey right across Lankyland to the small seaside town of Shedport. Hazardously and with many incredible twists and turns being encountered along the way, the Un-Putdownables Away-Team slowly begin to make their mark whilst unimaginable forces are at work attempting to keep all interferences at bay.Their ultimate arrival at the seaside sees an epic finale of mind blowing proportions. All the feuding protagonists meet on Shedport Pier to an unworldly and unexpected reception which begins with a spectacular display of millions of Lankyland lights beaming upwards into the inky black midday sky. Everyone there is stunned into a momentary and complete silence. At the same time the Town Hall clock ticks the seconds away: 10 - 9 - 8 - 7…Who will procure the solid silver tanners and with it the ‘mighty powers’ they seemingly possess. Will the smug and corrupt Shedport Elders finally sanction and celebrate the first-ever Lankyland Day and will the children ever receive their very own personal gift of a commemorative solid silver tanner. Or will it be Catchpenny who is finally seen to get his own way? .